To someone recovering from relationship addiction, this is a big question.
When that person has finally found wholeness and peace in Christ alone, it's even bigger.
When you introduce that person to someone with a matching fire for God...well, it can create a dilemma. It's a really nice dilemma, but it ultimately demands a weighty decision. I've been swimming in that place for a couple months now.
Background: When I met Jesus, a radical life transformation took place. I put myself under good teaching and prayed for faith and more faith. Things clicked for me instantly in just about every area of my life. Strongholds that had been built up for decades came crashing down in a period of about four weeks. I was a beautiful mess, resting in His palms like a newborn, learning to see and hear and grow from scratch. Because of my history, He made it very clear that I was to avoid men for an indeterminate period of time. [He gave me Matthew 19:12 - yes, the eunuch verse, which I'm sure will require its own blog discussion at some point.] His disciplinary process was done with humor and tenderness, but it was REAL. I am so thankful He loved me enough to take the time to put me on the short leash/choke chain/shock collar. After all, "He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness." (Heb 12:10)
A few weeks ago I went to camp with my daughter's Girl Scout troop. We had a break and I found a bench around a fire pit where I could lay down, look up, and talk to Him. There was a small circle of blue sky surrounded by layer upon layer of tree branches. I really began to see the layers, even in the sky. My view of a group of tiny black dots was interrupted by a soaring hawk closer to the tree tops. The branches were all unique, made up of different varieties, some lush and some needing to be pruned out. The higher the tree got, the narrower the patch of sky got...and the fewer branches there were.
That tree became the Kingdom Tree to me - I could see that each layer was made up of lush and healthy branches, with areas that need to be cut out to reach the next level of intimacy with God. Lord, I want to go higher! I can see that even blessed relationships can keep us from reaching a higher level - they tie us to this earth, distract us from giving our full attention to the Kingdom - but they are still blessed by God. Is it also possible that a Biblical marriage could push us higher than we would get walking alone? I believe that is God's intention.
Marriage is intended for holiness, not happiness... though I like to believe a holy marriage will be a nest of delight. It is meant to bring three people together - two who are already complete in their marriage to Christ. Can I support someone as he grows deeper in relationship with Him; can I overcome my habit of finding and focusing on all the flaws; can I love a man the way He would have me do it?
I hear Him say that either path will be equally blessed at this point, and that neither will be a disappointment to Him. He has put the choice in my hands...and He is loosening the leash to allow me to make it. So I will just continue to walk in each day given. Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) You can say that again!
I pray for a fervant disciple who loves God as much (or maybe even a tiny bit more) than I do. I pray that he has walked with Christ longer than me. I pray that the man He wants me to walk with will be found walking on the same path. I pray protection over him, protection from me!, that neither I nor anyone else will distract him from his calling and purpose. I pray strength for him, because he will certainly need it.
And I am thankful to a Father who pulled me from the pit and restored my innocence, my childish awkwardness, my purity. Who will allow me to experience "the real deal" in this lifetime if I choose. Who is more and gives more than I will ever need, and still continues to give.
Very well written post Amy and I truly enjoyed reading this.
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